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Merry Christmas Bitches!

May the alcohol be aplenty,
May your MIL not show.
May your cookies contain no lard,
And may your Duraflame glow.

I wish you a joyous day,
And pray your Pandora bracelet is under the tree,
Though it's probably not what you wanted anyway,
For after all, you are a pea.

May the kidlets be grateful for the gifts
You bought with your Coke Reward Points.
And I pray that your fibromyalgia,
Doesn't take hold of your joints.

Merry Christmas my dear blog hags,
You've made this last year great.
Now let's all go stuff our faces 'til January,
When we vow to lose the weight!

Happy Holidays!
-Jane

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New SPACE!!!!!!1111!!

HOLY SHITE, SORRY GUYS!

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Hey guys,

I am going to do my best to delete the kid smack.  I try to catch it all, but sometimes things come up (like Thanksgiving weekend) and I don't see it all.

Thanks for your patience.

-Jane

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I wanted to update you all on the issues with IE and posting comments.

This is a quote from a blogger repair blog from October 6th 2011.

"We're investigating reports of users not being able to comment on IE8/9 from the embedded form. We hope to have a fix out shortly, but in the meantime we encourage admins to switch to either the full-page or pop-up forms which should be working without issue.

Thanks for your patience, and we'll make sure to update this post as soon as we have more info."

 

They suggest that I switch the comments section to "full page" or "pop-up" but if I do we will lose the numbered comments that you guys had asked for.  So it's up to you.  Do you deal with the IE issues, or lose the comment numbers?

I will keep checking with blogger to see if a solution is made for the IE/comment problems.

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Since you can't please everyone....

When would you like new space?  Is around 200 not good enough?

Someone mentioned when the comments reach 100 on the previous thread.

Let me know.

SPACE.

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Holy Shit, sorry guys!

SPACE.

Space for my BBBBBFFFFBFFBFBFF's. ;)

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Sorry bitches.  What can I say?  It's summer...and I have a life. ;)

Carry on. :)

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Sorry guys!  Y'all got chatty last night!

Happy Thrusday. :)

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New Space.

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Just a reminder...

If you want to post something without your blog URL showing up, you have to choose "anonymous" from the drop down menu when you comment.  If you are logged into blogger your real name will show up.

:) :) :)

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New Space, and Welcome to the Newbies.

Cuz, I *know* you are here, the stats are through the roof today, LOL.

:::waves a spastic hello:::

:)

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So I guess we're all still here. :)

Kinda bummed that the Rapture didn't rid us of Skybar, Mrs. Tyler and Syliva.  Darn.

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It's Thrusday!

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Happy Mothers Day!

This was too good not to repost....

On Mrs. Tyler's labor:

"Mommy, can you tell me about the day I was born?"
"Oh, it was like any other day. I woke up and parked my ass in front of the computer."
"I wanna hear more, what was labor like?"
"Well my water broke, and then I pea'd all day long."
"Gross, you peed all day long! I don't wanna have a baby!!!"
"No, PEA'D. You know, talked to my internet friends."
"Oh, they must be really cool people. What are their names?"
"Names? Uh, scrappitydo-dah, scrapsalot, scraptoit, scrapitinthebingbong. Oh and mommytotwenty."
"I mean their real names!"
"I have no idea."
"You don't even know their real names and you spent all day with them the day I was born?"
"Yep. Go away, Mommy's busy at the computer."

Did Mary Have Her Baby Yet????

Just kidding. ;)

I really like her, but we're going to have to start a separate board over there for the Mary inquiries. 

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Flying Douchemen...

Discuss...

New Space. :)

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Happy Monday!

Saturday Space.

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You guys are chatty today! :)

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Hey guys,

So to those of you who had a comment disappear, and were wondering what happened, I figured it out:

Apparently blogger is randomly flagging some comments as spam and I have to go in and check them "not spam" for them to show up.

I just figured that out (sorry!) so for those of you who had comments that didn't show up, they are all there now.

JD

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Just so we're clear:   I have no interest in collecting IP addresses, nor do I have any knowledge on how to go about doing it.

Bottom line: I don't give a crap who reads or posts here.  Just enjoy the space, I don't have any extra time in my life to go above and beyond making new space every couple days.  I'm not ever going to care about IP addresses or waste any time trying to figure them out.  That is all.

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Because You asked....

There was talk about how to link a URL in a comment, so here is a basic tutorial.

When you are leaving a comment and you want to leave a clickable link, do the following:

1.  Copy and paste the URL you would like to link.

i.e.   http://www.twopeasinabucket.com/mb.asp?cmd=list&forum_id=15&x=11&y=12

2.  In the comment section, type: <a href=" and then without leaving any spaces, copy and past your URL next to it.

i.e: <a href=" http://www.twopeasinabucket.com/mb.asp?cmd=list&forum_id=15&x=11&y=12 

 (I left space so you can see it, otherwise it would just show up as a link.)

3.  Put "> at the very end of your URL, again no spaces.

4. Directly after the > add the title of your link.

i.e:  <a href=" http://www.twopeasinabucket.com/mb.asp?cmd=list&forum_id=15&x=11&y=12 "> NSBR Board


(again, disregard the spaces in my code, I have to do it that way to show you.)


5.  After the Title of your link, add </a>



In the end your link code should look like this:

<a href="URL">URL TITLE</a>


Remember that the only space in your code should be the one between the a and href. 


Hope this helps!

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Clearing Things Up.

• I have only ever deleted one comment on this blog, and it was the one about Sami.

• I will not delete anything unless it's the general consensus that it was over the line, or if it violates the TOU of this blog. (No Child-Smack, No Personal Info, No Malicious Detective Work)

• There are no "blocks" as previously mentioned.  You can talk about whomever/whatever you like, as long as it's not violating the above.

That's it people, these are not hard rules to follow.

Thanks,
JD

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Squillen And Her Baked Goods.

According to the New York State (Where Squillen resides) Health Department, she would fall under the umbrella term of caterer, which would make her kitchen a food service establishment.

Now, I *think* Squillen used to be a licensed caterer, but I may be wrong.  If she does not have a license, she SHOULD have one, otherwise she is in violation of NY State Health Code.

14-1.20 Definitions of food service establishment and caterer.

• (a) A food service establishment is a place where food is prepared and intended for individual portion service and includes the site at which the individual portions are provided, whether consumption occurs on or off the premises. The term excludes food processing establishments, retail food stores, private homes where food is prepared or served for family consumption, and food service operations where a distinct group mutually provides, prepares, serves and consumes the food such as a "covered-dish supper" limited to a congregation, club or fraternal organization.
• (b) A caterer is a person who prepares, furnishes, or prepares and furnishes food intended for individual portion service at the premises of the consumer, whether such premises are temporary or permanent. A caterer is considered a food service establishment operator and is required to operate in conformance with this Subpart.

14-1.194 Enforcement.

• (a) Operation of a food service establishment without a permit is a violation of this Subpart. The permit-issuing official or his designated representative may order any food service establishment or operation in his jurisdiction, operating without a valid permit, to close and cease all food operations immediately, and to remain closed until the establishment or operation has obtained and displays a valid permit.
• (b) For serious, repeated or persistent violations of any of the requirements of this Subpart, or for interference with the permit-issuing official or his designated representative in the performance of his duties, the permit may be revoked after notice and an opportunity for a hearing has been provided by the permit-issuing official.
• (c) The permit-issuing official may suspend a permit and order immediate cessation of operations and service of food at a food service establishment within his jurisdiction when in his opinion continued operation is an imminent hazard to public health. Any person so ordered is to comply immediately, and within 15 days is to be provided with an opportunity to be heard and to present proof that continued operation does not constitute a danger to the public health.

What say the peas?

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Happy March!

SillygurlIKnow = AnnieSM/AnnSM/Ann Marie

It has to be her.  The posting style is the same, the starting of a thread with crucial information missing, then coming back to add more info to help her case.

She even says she has a DD is one post, which we all know Annie does.

How long before she starts manically posting about how she IS NOT Annie, then finally admitting that she is and that she's having a Bi Polar issue? 

Looks like she deleted all her posts. Classic.

Looks Like she deleted her posts on this one too.

Evidence


Thoughts?

Treelover's Mansion Has Been Found!

Treelover's Immaculate Mansion where she partakes in her feasts of achingly sharp cheddar.


For your viewing enjoyment. :)

Freak Accident?

I do not understand how she broke her leg the way that Lauren explains.


Most likely the kid was riding improperly in the cart. 

Who knows if Lauren herself is making it up, or if it's the crackhead mother who tried to sell Lauren that story, but I call BS.

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Happy Smacking. :)

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Space for my bitches.

Smack on!

The PTB.

It's become quite obvious that the PTB banned many threads over the weekend.

Obviously they banned Yubon's because the title of the thread has "vibrator" and "sex" in it.  But why did they ban Lauren's?  Is it because she asked them to?  It seems to be her M.O.  To spout off at the mouth, and instead of apologizing for teh crayzee, she has the PTB delete entire threads so it will be lost forever.

I can only guess at what happened, but I find it strange that the other thread, the GA rape thread, is still there and it has "fuck you" in it a few times.

Odd how Lauren's whiny PVM is gone and so are the other threads that contain pasted excerpts from this blog. 

Makes you go hmmmmm.

Threads of The Week

 Help Me Name One of My Twins Something Terrible, aslo with lots of y's!

Okay fine, What did you name YOUR precious snowflake?

Do You Find Certain Peas are Always Negative? AKA, help me passive aggressively call out Lauren!

Ahhh, Beer.


Anything else catch your eye this week?

Lauren

We all love to hate her.

As of late she has:

Insinuated that JBeans was not a good mother for leaving her sick preemie baby at the hospital.

Tormented LBrock about her mother dying.

Called Olan and Petesmom Peaple whose opinions don't matter.


Has she personally affronted you?  Said something that made your jaw drop?  Air your grievances here.

For Posterity Sake.

The Original Two Peas Thread: Donna Downey is At It Again

You Thought We Wouldn't Notice- Blog Article

Donna Downey's Original Blog Fost: "Inspired" By Fossil

The Arthouse Studio Video: Donna Looks Nuts, and also wearing the purse.

Scrapbook Obsession: Erika's Blog Post on the Situation

Let me know if I missed a link, and I will go back and add it.  I'm sure there will be more to add as the drama continues to unfold.

PEA OCD

You know what I mean, that one thing that Peas hear about, and then it consumes them, and the board for months.  You can't open the NSBR page without seeing 42.7% of the posts belonging to that subject.

In recent years we've seen the obsession over:

Caramel In A Can!!11OMFG!!!
Vag Cream For Your Eyes!
Burning Feather's BEEF!!
Squillen's Cookies in A Box
Coconut Oil For you Nasty Skin
Miche Bags
Nail Polish

And countless others I am probably forgetting.


It reminds me of High School, when the one popular girl gets something new and then everyone else must. have. it.
And most of the time the Peaple will go to no length, no matter what the cost to get it.  Like $50 for some cookies made by Squillen?!  Really?!

Who is....

The one who is the biggest bitch?

The one that acts like she knows everything, but knows nothing?

The one who needs the stick surgically removed from her asshole?

The one who is livid about everything?

The one who is the biggest narcissist?

The one you wish would just go away?


Who are your votes?

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Hey guys,

I figured I would go ahead an add more space about every 70 comments or so to keep the comments from going on forever on each post. 

Just so we're clear, I'm working on getting the comments numbered, still having trouble figuring out the html code for that, so if anyone knows how to do this let me know.

If there is anything you'd like to see here, feel free to tell me.

THX,
Jane Doe

Double Standard.

My nieghbor yelled at my unleashed dog who got on his property! What a prick!

If *this* had been *anyone* other than *kikinichole* posting *this* thread, she *would* have had her *20yearold* *ass* handed to *her*

Especially by Burning Feather, who has taken up the torch to defend *kiki*.

SMH.

Really?!

Help, My kid ate some Tylenol, should I call my Mommy or Scrapwench?

I do not get why people post this crap.  Even if my kid *did* eat some Tylenol, and I wasn't *positive* that it was a large dose, I would NEVER ask the peas what to do. 

Does she not realize she will be torn apart?  Not to mention the fact that she is now so clearly busy worrying about defending herself that her kid could be in a coma and she wouldn't even notice.

Thoughts?